While surrogacy is an exciting and meaningful process for both surrogates and intended parents, it also comes with myriad emotions from stress and uncertainty to hope and anticipation.
One of the best ways to cope with all that comes with this journey is to have a strong support network. Accel Conceptions supports everyone involved by providing knowledgeable, reliable resources for the legal, medical, logistical and even emotional details.
We provide all surrogates with a monthly support group. And all intended parents are just a phone call away from peace of mind, a helpful intermediary for working with your surrogate, and more.
Beyond that, we’ve organized some coping strategies for surrogates and intended parents can maintain emotional balance and find the help they need for the journey.
Surrogacy Process Coping Strategies
First off, the emotions you’re feeling are normal. Surrogacy is a big step in growing your family or helping someone else grow theirs. Changes in emotions – whether that be from immense happiness to worry and dread or changes from hopefulness to fear – are valid. The process is long, and it can feel like you’re just waiting for the next milestone.
Take time to recognize that you are allowed to feel the way that you do and that changes in mental health throughout the process are to be expected. The most important thing to put in place early in the journey is the help and support you need to make it to delivery day.
1. Build a Strong Support System
Before you sign on the line to be a surrogate or work with one to grow your family, consider who will be in your support system. Rally friends, family or those around you who’ve been through a similar process.
Make sure that those in your support system are people who you will feel comfortable sharing your experience with and who you trust will be there when you need them, even if it means being there at a moments’ notice.
Having trusted individuals you can talk to can help ease your anxiety. And if it’s someone who has been through a similar process, you’ll likely feel less isolation.
If you don’t have anyone in your network who has been through surrogacy, consider seeking out an online community or looking for an in-person group in your area. This will give you the chance to talk through your thoughts throughout the months ahead.
2. Communicate Often and Clearly
Good communication between a surrogate and intended parents can help avoid unnecessary stress and can lead to fewer challenges or surprises. This also tells the other party that you’re being open and honest with them. A good communication cadence builds trust.
Be intentional with when you communicate based on your surrogacy agreements. That way, both parties know that expectations are being met and boundaries are being respected.
3. Work with a Counselor or Therapist
A professional counselor offers a neutral, yet supportive space where you can share your thoughts and emotions freely. This professional can help you find coping skills that work for you while managing stress and preparing for the transition of the baby’s arrival.
Accel Conceptions works with accredited psychologists and mental health professionals that specialize in surrogacy. Because of their speciality, they are well-equipped to recommend resources specific to your needs.
Getting started with therapy early is a proactive approach to emotional preparedness. A knoweldgable therapist can help you look down the line and better anticipate what’s to come while guiding you in how to cope with it.
4. Build Good Self-Care Behaviors
Small daily habits impact your emotional state and help promote balance and a sense of control. Some ideas for ways to practice self care include:
- Beginning the day with mindfulness, such as deep breathing, meditating or gentle stretching
- Writing in a gratitude journal at the end of each day
- Enjoying calming music while engaging in hobbies that bring you joy and avoiding spending too much time on social media or reading the news
5. Be Prepared to Adjust Your Expectations
As you go through your surrogacy journey, realize that things will change and you’ll need to review and adjust your expectations accordingly.
Life changes, new information, and experiences all shape surrogacy for your. Spend some time reflecting on your emotional needs and regularly adjust your mental framework to make room for change. This will help you stay resilient.
Also remember that surrogacy is better as a shared journey so lean on your support network and reach out in moments when you feel less grounded.
Embracing the Many Emotions That Come with Surrogacy
Coping with the surrogacy process requires planning, building a good support network early on, and practicing emotional self-awareness throughout the process. Using these strategies will help you approach the many phases of surrogacy with resilience.
Accel Conceptions provides unmatched support through every step of the surrogacy experience. Our team features the many professionals that make surrogacy less stressful for both the carrier and intended parents. Experience the difference that having a strong network of caring professionals can have for you. Start your surrogacy journey now.